Life Has A Crush On You

Falling in love with Life one day at a time…

Category: meditation

I Don’t Know

Can we relax into this phrase? Can we let go of ourselves into the not knowing? Can you embrace it? Love it, dance, swim, indulge in it?

What if this week we lived in the “not knowing” space? What if we were not only honest with others, but with ourselves – I don’t know.

As I read this idea this morning, parts of my body and soul that were secretly clenched instantly released. I realized I was harboring so much tension in my body because I had set up the standard that I should know the Way of my self-expression, my future, my contribution to others.

While it is a challenging journey to begin to understand what you can uniquely contribute to the world, in recognizing your gifts, your talents, your abilities, and wanting to spread them, it may be even harder to not just attempt to map out your contribution, but to remain honest with yourself, that you really have no idea how it’s going to happen.  The truth is that your path is just that – yours. It has never been experienced before. It cannot be predicted. It cannot be copied.  This individualized adventure, your Divine Self Expression, is wholly unique and the only thing you must carry forward on this journey is this mindset of not knowing. With this comes immense trust in Life, superhuman persistence, dogged determination and a gentleness with yourself that isn’t always supported culturally. Not knowing takes you out of the picture and allows the teachers, leaders, guides and others to point the way, lift you up and enter you into a life of awe.

Today, I admit it. I do not know. 

Following your own blueprint at work

It is interesting moving into February and March. This weekend marks the beginning of a downhill slope for me of event after event. All I can think of when August finally does come is that I will have gotten at least 100 times better at all my jobs with all this practice!

But the question- the balance- lays in the approach. Will I derive a judgment of my work by the approval of others? Will success lay in the hands of my colleagues, bosses and general opinion? Or will I so dare to acknowledge the one true judgment, the one true standard, the one that lays within me?

It is an act of vulnerability to fearlessly pursue the tasks before you with your own personal blueprint for joy and unique expression. You are taking off the cloak of business, of stress, or being overburdened, which in some work environments can be measurements of your effort or even success at completing the job.

It is radical to find joy where others find stress. It is radical to trust when typically we try to control. It is radical to move from your heart not your head at your desk.

Like most radical things this new movement of yours will either die of its own accord- or change the world- your world- in deeply moving and profound ways to produce a life you were destined to live.

So yes, there is risk at working according to your own blueprint. But there in also lies the risk of never trying, the pain of conforming to a shape that isn’t yours, and a life spent worrying and stressing over the fickle opinions of others.

I hope as I begin this busy season of work that I remember my own orientation. That I make decisions aligned with the Divine that lives within me and that I remember this guidance is always available so I too can relax and enjoy this marvelous ride.

God Windows

It’s hard not to write about this when you come into contact with it again and again, day by day. It’s when you walk consciously into an answered prayer. I have been taught that no prayer is too small and here are some examples.

It has been raining all night and all morning. While I thought I was prepared, this morning I realized I didn’t have my umbrella. So I prepared the best I could with raincoats and trash bags and fully accepted the potential fate of being wet all morning from my walk and wait for the bus. I step outside all bundled to find not even a drop is falling. A God window opened.

On Tuesday I drove into Atlanta, a drive that usually makes me nervous especially around rush hour where hundreds of cars vie their way pass you. Yet, just as with every time I drive in a major congested interstate, I prayed on the ramp for a successful and safe merger. Each of the 4 times I entered one of the major highways it was as if there were no other cars for half a mile before me and half a mile behind me. Truly unbelievable that for a 6 lane highway- during rush hour- every time I merged, there were no cars even close. Like a mini- yet no less remarkable- crossing of the Red Sea, I found myself in another God window.

This is what I hope we can all remember today. Despite appearances. Despite known facts or preconceived and lived experiences, we can all ask and be grateful for these God windows. Little pockets meant just for us to live into and keep us safe.

For every dream of yours you have the tools…

A moment ago I read this from the blog of Paulo Coelho.

 

“Our dream, the desire that is in our soul, did not come out of nowhere.
Someone placed it there.
And that Someone, who is pure love and wants only our happiness, did so only because he also gave us the tools to realize our dreams and our desires.”

(The rest can be found on  http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2013/01/11/our-dream-2/)

My soul took a breath for a moment with this beautiful reminder. It seems that January has started in full force. The rest and break the holiday afforded has refreshed us and propelled us into many new endeavors on top of all the projects we were already doing. For me, I love it. There is something that is always comforting about the fact when I am doing a lot, and doing that which my soul has whispered for me to do for years. It makes me focus on the necessary, and when I focus on the necessary, then I sense the efficiency of nature coursing through me. I feel that I am being an instrument for good and joy in the world.

As Paulo Coelho reminds us, the ideas and dreams that we have come to us for a reason. They were planted in us, intentionally and with full purpose. And just like any good gardener, this Someone does not just let the seed have to fend for its own water and sunshine and nutrients. All that is needed for the dream to grow and fruit is provided – we already or will have the tools to accomplish our growth and soul’s work. While you have to do your part of allowing the essence and path of the seed take place, we are all given all that we need to accomplish what is being asked of us.

So often when we sense a calling, a dream, a desire of the soul, we hesitate. We think of all the other things that are urgent and necessary and that take up so much of our time. Yet the truth is that the easy fulfillment of this desire is before you. You have all the resources, all the tools, that you need to “hammer” it out. Your life, your experiences, the hidden tools you already possess will make themselves apparent and useful.

So what?

So don’t delay! There is no time like the present. There won’t be “more” time later. There will be the same crunch. The same hesitation. The same “overwhelm”.

Today, instead, lets change our focus. Let’s see the wealth of resources before us – even if it’s the five minutes we drive in the car alone that allow us to make a phone call, or the extra $100 that you can spend on doing that which you thought of doing years ago to spread a message you believe in. Perhaps its the fact that you have paper and a pen (resources that not many people have). Perhaps its a gift of music, or inspiration that you can offer someone. Perhaps its an excel spreadsheet where you can lay out a plan. While this spiritual truth of having all the tools needed to realize our dream is true of everyone, it is only bestowed on those who realize it. Pause. Breathe deeply. See the depth of resources before you and within you. And recognize how you and your life are perfectly aligned to the accomplishment of that which you think is “too good to be true”.

Unbreakable Joy

There are mornings when I awake that are filled with in breakable joy. I know I write about this often but it’s as if these thoughts and emotions fill me up so much to the brim of my being that they have to overflow. While they spill out in conversations and meetings and yoga or whatever I am doing, I can’t help but to feel even greater joy to let them spill onto the page.
Without effort, while still in bed everything reminded me if the Divine blessings my life is filled with today. My mattress was soft and the quilts on it warm. We were safe in our home all night. I was still satisfied from a delicious meal that was enjoyed with my family, a family that made sacrifices for each other and family that is all together, a family that celebrates and is healthy. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste! I have running water. There are so many clothes in my closet and we could literally choose whatever we wanted for breakfast. There were messages from loved ones on my phone and a dog to wake me out of bed. There was peace with my job and a joy that I have one and one I like. The man I love more than anything was singing in the kitchen. Thoughts and ideas of how I can contribute and contribute easily came to me and added to my excitement, an excitement that time and time again brings me to my knees in great awe.
So what could this mean for you? Really whatever you want it to. But I hope that with this spillage you realize that you too are invited to this unbreakable joy. That with every faucet you turn on, with every sip of clean water, with very heated room and every caring person, you are reminded of your status as elite, as blessed, as royalty of this world and life. This is a day filled with these and so many more miracles. I pray you feel as full from them as I do now and forever.

Watching the Waves

There are moments everyday of disappointment. Moments when we catch ourselves plummeting, when we sense loss and tighten up. We brace ourselves for the fall.
I know when these happen, sometimes in the tiniest of moments for me. Someone says something. I hear something from somewhere, I spin into reaction. I try to find a grip. Sometime I grab onto things that give me a false sense if control and steadiness- blaming others, anger, eating, jumping into unplanned action. But I know these are just temporary fixes. Band aids for a wound that might need some time to heal.
But I can sense I am on the right path since I know when these moments come where I loose my footing. I can feel my breath stop. I can feel a mood brewing in my blood, uninvited. I can see my hand reach to stuff down another emotion with something to occupy my mouth. I can see my true self shrink by enlarging the issue before me.
While there are many strategies out there to help us with those moments that surely come up daily my only cure right now is to watch the waves. I set a timer to literally create some space for me, some time where I a not allowed to do anything- talk, eat, even think. I can only breathe. Deeply. Audibly, visibly with my chest rising and falling. This is the secret ocean I carry around with me. Hidden, like an ancient secret cove, these are the waves that smooth the jagged edges of anything in its way. I get the same peace in this time as I do sitting by the shore. I get the same wonder on this edge as I do standing and searching for an ending that doesn’t exist on a vast ocean. And to think, it’s always there. I can choose to always live by the sea. I just have to turn around. I just have to pause to hear it crash on the shore, rhythmically reminding me there are things that came before and things that will outlast. I just have to breathe.

The Last of this Year’s Visitors- God

A standard was set tonight for what I would consider an ideal New Year’s Eve. Set out to the yoga ashram just outside of town there was to be a three hour ushering of the new ear and celebration of the last year in the yoga yurt complete with direct intention setting, Kirtan, or sacred chanting, meditation for world peace and a fire ceremony. It sounded sacred. It sounded fun It sounded perfect. Yet Drew didn’t care to go and no matter how perfect an evening we were invited to for me it is a no brainier that it would have been a horrible night without him.
I got my perfect evening, though, and was taught at the perfect moment how God will always come to you.
It began by watching a particular a movie that I rented that opened my eyes and, most importantly my heart, to the pain, the disruptive mess and wars abroad. It was a stark contrast to my life, the safety I take for granted and the innocent bubble I can and do create for myself by not watching the news or reading the papers. Although what I watched was fiction, just the thought that such happens abroad and domestically is enough to shake me awake. I saw and could swim in the millions of blessings I experience on a daily basis. Above all, I saw the need for peace and I prayed a true prayer for peace for all people. I prayed that everyone would be given the freedom, the safety and the love the needed to lead their lives. I prayed that all should be as blessed as I have been.
But this was not to end the evening. God came to my door, not ready for me to settle out the year quite yet. After undressing for the day, stripping off the hundreds of dollars of clothes I had just bought today, a man knocked. We thought it was fireworks at first. But then we heard how it was at our door. Drew answered and it was a man who a few weeks ago came around on a Sunday afternoon asking for work and food. I had given him a fresh loaf of bread and he came back, at 10:30 tonight to see if we had any more to spare. Although we didn’t have bread we gave him some crackers and food we did have. Yet it was a few minutes later that all the pieces came together. I couldn’t help but look at and see the need too that exists in our own town, on our own front porch. There were knocks on the door and on my heart.
There have been a few nights over the past couple of years where I have dreamed of using our resources to help those who need it. I have laid awake in bed running over the details and strategies of allowing homeless people use our backyard, water and firewood. I have written out and thought time and time again of somehow using the small yet powerful skill I have learned of making bread to help others and improve the lives of those who we know and don’t. Yet it wasn’t until tonight that I felt what I dare say was a call. Without a doubt, just as He planned the man to ask for bread, my heart to be awakened and compassionate, He too planted the Divine Thought and connection in my mind. This man came asking for bread. And what did I see? I saw God on my front porch saying, “Yes. It’s time. Make bread. Fill the hungry with food and work. Give what you can and what I am asking of you, so you can become who you are.”
It didn’t take a yurt or chanting or a fire ceremony for me to find God tonight. He came to me. He found me. And this is how I enter the New Year. On my knees. Head to the ground and in awe of the good and the hard, with a prayer asking for strength to carry me and you through the work before us.

I Believe the Unbelievable

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I believe the unbelievable, not because it’s wishful, but because it’s spiritual truth. If we depend upon our own minds too much then there is no room for God to come in and adjust our limited perspectives. We do not know everything. We cannot see everything and must acknowledge our limits and depend on the All-Knowing to alter us, surprise and and leave us in awe. I repeat to myself, “I believe the unbelievable” because it is my invitation to God to show me His presence and power in days when I trust too much on the things I see around me. I believe the unbelievable because I believe in God and I believe in Life and its endless and boundless abilities and Forms. I believe the unbelievable because I am honest and believe in the Truth.

Take Yourself Easily

I wasn’t feeling well last night and so this morning I slept in (until 7:30). Wow what a difference. My whole demeanor if different. Nonetheless I am feeling better. It’s as if Life has said, “Oh yes, welcome back. This is where you belong”. Within an hour of waking and observing this difference in my body and mind I can see how incredibly harsh I have been on myself. Comparing myself to others. Needing things to be perfect. “Should”ing myself in all areas of life. “Elizabeth”, I can hear this gentle voice say, “why don’t you let go of the reins you’ve got so tight and just ride.” I can see that it’s not that I have to get off of the horse completely or let go of you ability to direct it. But nothing will get done if I am this tight. . . and no one, especially me, will be happy.
My commitment this Monday morning is to embrace this new gentility I have towards myself. There is no reason to put more on me, but instead time to take somethings off. While I can’t change the demands on me from work, I can change the demands on me from me. I can sleep in the extra hour. Take a little but longer walk at lunch. Take a bath. Enjoy a flower. Embrace imperfections and take the time and care to fix anything I mess up.
For the month of December I am relieving myself of standards I have put on myself like waking up in the 5s. Of needing to take the next and new course of study. Instead I am creating space. For my health. For my joy. For the light of Christ to dwell with me and my life this Holy season.

Golden Thread

Today I follow the Golden Thread within me and before me. The delicate yet indestructible ribbon that thinly flows from my soul outward. The One Path to follow. The unique Life designed exactly for me. Today I surrender the other choices, which really are no choices at all, that crowd the sidelines of the Thread. I see only the glowing light unravel before me, wrap itself around my heart of hearts and pull me gently into the sphere of love that is our promised perfection. My feet balance as I step onto the Golden Path and my hands wrap around it as I bow down, then somersault my way forward propelled by joy and supported by the invisible field of the Golden Thread that will never let me stumble.