Life Has A Crush On You

Falling in love with Life one day at a time…

Category: friendship

The Spiritual Sounding Board

I consider myself very blessed. One of my greatest blessings is to have a best friend whose standards of life and joy and personal conduct are so truthfully aligned that you can literally not bring anything to her that is not your highest and best. It’s not as if she judges you at all. It’s more that somehow she sees you and life clearer. She sees and expects what you could be and doesn’t waste her time with the junk or the clutter or the muddled. It’s always been very clear to me this Divine Quality she has. It is like a spiritual sounding board- you just can’t lie to her like you can yourself. It’s a friendship where there is no room for excuses.
It is truly a rare and special gift to have this person in your life. Just their presence seen or unseen lifts you up to the next level. Their perspective, unblurred from their distance, offers the honest and true advise that is usually the missing link in getting yourself to the next level.
Thank you Life for such a friend.

Bottled up joy

And so it begins. The excitement, the joy, the freshness of the season has arrived. Just when things are starting to look drab, when days are a bit cold, and daily routines taste a little stale it has come. I love this time. I love it because it starts with thanks and ends with love and in between is filled with movies about miracles and cookies and a twinge if not a bucketload of belief in the good of humanity. Its as if I have been given a Christmas gift early. Drops of joy that are bottled up and distributed adding a glisten to every moment. Its the excitement if seeing old friends, of giving and getting. Of photo cards coming into homes and a recognition of each other as siblings. More candles are lit than other times and its more culturally acceptable to simply be happy. Yes. It’s all wrapped up for us again this year in the rituals, the songs, the lights. And it all makes me overwhelmed with gratitude that seeps out in tears and makes me fall to the ground in worship of this Life. My blessings this Thanksgiving are too abundant to count. But I know just like looking at clear winter sky studding with more stars than can be counted that its not about a quantitative measure but our submission and awe as we recognize that we are a part of and able to enjoy such majesty.

The Fear of Disappointing Those We Love

I experienced recently the raw emotion of what it feels like to disappoint someone. This friend that I had to tell I couldn’t make their wedding, which occurs in a few weeks, and which I was so honored to be a part of the ceremony, demonstrated the most magnificent amount of grace I had ever experienced her having.

While I sit with the discomfort of upsetting another (particularly around their wedding day!) I am reminded of how many things I do, and we all do, to avoid this pain. Now I am the first to admit that this blog is a personal reflection. While my friend demonstrated more graciousness than I expected despite the upset-ness she might have felt , I needed to process and understand this situation from my end, from the pain I was feeling of having let someone else down.

The good I can gleam from this experience is that I did face a fear. I, being a pleaser type, will go to great lengths to make other people’s lives and experiences better and easier. This has served me in many of my jobs, since I seek roles where I can serve others, but I won’t deny that some part of this too stems from my great fear of letting someone else down. I reap great significance from “not being a bother”. I find this is something I try to offer to society and all the circles of friends I have and associations I am a part of. But the truth is, we all cause a ripple. Sometimes, we can’t help but to rock someone else’s boat.

So what? Being honest and facing the fact that we will and do disappoint others at times (even important times) is a learning process just like being rejected whether from a job, a lover, an agent, a dream. Accepting the fact that you can’t please everyone and yourself will cause discomfort. Owning up to the fact that you hurt someone else by disappointing them will humble you and shake your foundation, if it is built on pleasing others.

For all these reasons, and I am sure many more, we have to live through the experience of disappointing others. I believe, however, having had this experience, that now I too can grow more into the gracious woman I hope to be. Having lived through the understanding of another, I hope I can offer grace instead of anger next time I am disappointed in someone. I hope next time I am let down, I remember the pain I feel, and offer understanding instead of criticism, love instead of annoyance.

And the next time I have to disappoint, I hope I can do it courageously while trusting that all will be well, as I remember, that as important as I do think I am (as we all do think of ourselves) our presence or lack there of doesn’t have the ability to stop their show, their beauty, their life and their grace. No. The show (or the wedding) will always go on. As will your friendship and growth in each other.