Life Has A Crush On You

Falling in love with Life one day at a time…

Month: October, 2012

Reality Check

Today I need a reality check… Here it is….

1. None of my “problems” are life- threatening.

2. I have the full function of my body, mind and spirit.

3. I woke up to the love of my life today.

4. I came to a job that pays me to do things I love.

5. I have work to do that contributes in meaningful ways to others.

6. I have the ability to make a new cup of tea at any moment.

7. I am finishing my dream class and closer than I realize to becoming more of who I desire to be.

8. There is clean air abounding around me.

9. I am in warm and comfortable clothes that make me feel the way I want.

10. I have a future that is brighter than I can imagine at this time.

11. I am working at a computer – a gift and tool so many don’t have access to.

12. I am never want for people or supplies to make my job easier.

13. In moments I forget these things, I have dozens of wise and wonderful people I love who can and do remind me of them.

Visual Choices

If you read my previous post I have been committing to a diet for a month that doesn’t involve any flour, sugar or potatoes. Essentially, I have chosen to give up my fall back foods. The foods I know I use to bring me joy, which I can see as being potentially dangerous if I don’t tame myself now. Please note- I am not going against the unadulterated joy of eating! I am still doing that, just with lots more veggies which when I calm my mind and bread-loving ego I am very clearly drawn to give up for a bit.
But here is the important lesson I have learned today. While vibrant health is a top priority of mine, above even that I prize freedom. And if course, where do I feel the most free- when I am choosing food, eating food and defying the need to diet ( I still don’t believe in diets). That is the point that was the hardest thing for me during this cleanse and commitment of mine. Not the actual letting go of some foods, but the idea that I couldn’t eat them.
The truth is that despite my commitment I am still the one choosing every bite. The ultimate authority lies with me, not with someone else’s guidelines that I am trying.
So tonight, coming off of a long day of work, getting back home around 8, I ordered sushi. It’s late. I love sushi. So what if I break this guideline and have some white rice tonight.
I was thrilled.
But then it happened. As I was picking up the food, the other option came to me. I quickly ordered a side of veggies and a seaweed salad. Why? Because right when I had given myself permission to “cheat” I didn’t want to.
It was actually joyous to see both options side to side and choose the one I knew was right for me. Not because of a need but because of a choice.
The real need I realize is not about restrictions and depriving ourselves, but to see and accept the abundance. From there we make our choices that align us with our intentions and highest selves. Sometimes it can be a bit more wasteful or expense as you put the options side by side, but it is worth it to be reminded that the choice is always yours.

A Call To Arms

This might be one of my most important posts to date, since it directly addresses another message that is gaining momentum and attention.  I sat this morning reading an article from yesterday’s New York Times entitled “In Seeking Love, Find Strength in Numbers” and with every sentence I gasped again and again in shock.

I truly feel that the message of described in this article of these two up and coming authors Ms. Rebecca Wiegand and Ms. Jessica Massa, of Gaggle, is wrong. In fact, I would go as far as to say it is the direct opposite of what we should be listening to and learning.

This message, delivered in small group discussions during happy hours in NYC and in their book is essentially to not only accept, but to embrace the horribly low standards for romantic relationships that seem to be around us. According to the article, these women talk about embracing hook up culture, expecting text messages instead of phone calls and relinquishing the “rules” of yesteryear. “We cannot expect to impose upon this world a set of rules, a set of regulations, a set of expectations.”

Oh really? These two authors, who I would love to know their love story, are out spreading a message that will truly never let the Perfect, Divine Love and Relationship come to them or those that buy into their standard-lowering propaganda.

That is why this post is a call to arms. I cannot help but act against them and their message. It is our responsibility, as established women with great dreams, to hold the bar high. To plant and stand firm by the standards that we desire in our lives and in our relationships. It is NOT asking for too much to have monogamy, phone calls, flowers-  yes, romance. That is asking of the littlest we could – it’s like asking for air to breath.

As A Course in Miracles states, “it is not that we ask for too much, but that we are asking for too little”. You must hold true to our highest standards – to falling head over heels in love with someone who understands you and gets you more than you understand yourself. To having high romance, where he comes before you and fulfills your dreams for you. It is about feeling more free sexually than you have ever dreamed because you can open up in the safest place have ever known- his arms. It is passionate. It is beautiful. It is exciting. It is challenging. It is deep, deep Love.

As I have written before, I will write again – Nothing, absolutely nothing, is too good to be true -especially when it comes to romantic love.

This man who completes you, who brings out the very best in you, who is fun and sexy and so deeply loving, exists. He is wishing and waiting and wanting you just as badly as you are him. The time will come. You will meet and you will not know what has happened. While everything seemed to be normal you will be rocked at your core because “the one”, the person you are connected to in ways that you cannot see or understand, has just met you again, for the first time. Nothing will be the same. No light will look the same; no food will taste the same. When you meet you are changed on a cellular level, forever.

This is the love we are all entitled to. It is not just for some of us, but for every one of us. It is one of the greatest gifts Life has to offer. We actually have to do very little to open up this inheritance – we must love ourselves and Life with the love we would shower on this person – and we must, at all costs, keep our ideal as our standard.

You are so deeply loved that you cannot even comprehend it. This Divine Love is your birthright. It is real. Wake up today and see it all around you. In everything you do, know that it is rushing towards you this very day. If it doesn’t arrive until tomorrow, you’ll be ready-  tanned and joyous from your time dancing in the light of this truth.

How to STICKK to a pesky goal

Tonight I am going to share one particular website that I think is brilliant because it truly has the ability to hold you to a goal (or many) that you set for yourself.

What’s the site? http://www.stickk.com.

What does it do? It holds you accountable and charges you when you don’t reach a goal! Yes, I mean it. It charges your debit/credit card if you don’t report that you have done it, or a friend reports that you have fallen off the band wagon. Want more motivate to do what you have set out to do? If you don’t do it, then in addition to charging you it has the ability to send an email to all of your friends to say that you have failed to meet your goal this week. Ouch! Double Ouch!

Why is this so brilliant? If you are like me, you are much more loss-averse than inspired by the future gains with some things. While some things I have been able to change myself with motivation and commitment, this is the tool to use when you know something has to change, but you are going to go kicking and screaming into it.

I could tell you more about how it works, but I am going to leave it at that. Go to it. Sign up. Put some money on the line! This is your future we are talking about and a commitment for you to be your best self.

Amazing Husbands…

Break through your bad mood and replace it with joy.

Take time out of their lives to give you what you need – what you really need, not necessarily what you are asking for.

They get stronger in your storms, rooting themselves more and more to you.

They surprise you.

They know you.

They forgive you.

They hit on you.

They play with you.

They light fires for you.

They make life easier.

They make life more fun.

They make life as good as it can possibly be.

 

God bless Amazing Husbands.

A Brat about Bread

I pushed away my bowl of breakfast and dramatically offered it to Drew this morning.

“I have lost the will to eat.”

He couldn’t but help and laugh in my face.

Why? Because I have chosen, yes, it was my choice, to commit to not eating gluten, sugar or any refined products for a few weeks (except one day each week). Today is day four.

What I am experiencing is not hunger, but the mentality and psychology of a screaming ego. Who knew I would become such a brat about bread.

I just know with my love and seemingly “need” of bread that I am of European descent and have it built into my DNA that in order to survive I need to indulge in the freshly baked warmth of a loaf at least every few days. It is probably the food I just can’t imagine life without . Jesus even called himself bread. Yes. Exactly it’s really important.

But the truth is, this is an ego problem, not a hunger one. My energy has been great. My body starting to “hum” a bit more. But my mind – oh yes, it is kicking and screaming.

So what? On this day four of my diet change, as momentum has run off, I am starting to realize that this isn’t about cleansing, or health, or calories or weight. This is about God.

Somewhere along the lines I believed more in what bread could do for me than what God can. Somewhere along the way, I decided that I was in control and part of my control plan is the joy and physical reaction I have to bread. So of course now, this lack of bread is not just a preference, it is rocking my world. It is God saying – “Yes. Give me your tools of “control”. See how Life really is. Look to me. Stop looking to yourself.”

This voice and perspective is useful as I tame the toddler of my ego that is acting out horribly. What an incredibly spoiled brat I can be.

It is starting to help me understand just what our sermon was about this past Sunday. The hard passage in Matthew that discusses the wealthy man who came to Jesus to ask what he can do to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

“Sell all your things and come and follow me.”

But he just couldn’t do it.

The point of this story is not to instigate all of us to sell our things, but it is to ask us to relinquish to God all that we hold most dear “to make our lives work”. What is one thing that you do use to tightly hold and control your days? While it sounds quite crazy and I am sorry that it got to this place in my life – bread is one of mine.

So take it. One month. Shape me. Not my body. But me -this screaming, whining, dramatic child that needs Your Presence and Power to make me disciplined and dependent by and on Your Will, Power and Strength – not on just a man-made fickle thing as bread.

20% Days!

There is a successful business practice that allows you to take 1/5 (or 20%) of your time to pursue what you want to pursue. This is complete and total autonomy, except for one typically requirements –  to show what project you worked on in a meeting later (yet even the meeting later might be fun perhaps serving cake and beer!). Other than that it is you, creating.

This is a beautiful thing.

What they have found that this 20% time is actually vital to the production and advancement of companies – and it makes employees happy!

I am not one to learn something and not try it out in my own life. Miraculously, in the past few weeks, I have allowed myself a “20% day” (usually on these glorious Wednesdays) and it has proven to be tremendously useful in producing not only results at work, but within my own positive psychology. No one (before this post) knew I was taking it. I still showed up to work. I still answered emails and attacked what was absolutely necessary, but… if something came up, if I wanted to look into something, if lunch lingered longer… This is my 20% day! Pursue it!

What I have found is twofold.

1. I still get just as much done at work, except am able to “check” the stress at the door, since I don’t actually have to “do” anything (I have two more days to pursue that later).

2. Life supports this! What do I mean by that? In the past few weeks, as I have approached my Wednesday as a 20% day amazingly fun things have come my way – sushi making (“makin’ maki!”) parties come to my office  or free health screenings are given where I get to discuss and perform tests I would have done in my free time anyway.

What I find is that I am happy. I get through this transitional day pleased since I have given myself permission to do and be as I hope, not as I am expected to be. This is incredibly freeing and productive.

So can you take a 20% day (or perhaps apply it to 1/5 of your workday if you don’t want to take a whole day)? Can you give yourself permission to be “on” but “off” for a certain allotted amount of time? Can you pursue what you want to pursue joyously, without the restraints of guilt?

I hope so!

Accumulate Pages, Not Judgments

I read  “accumulate pages, not judgments” on Sunday in The Artist’s Way and am still thinking about it. What a brilliant idea, so simply put. 

As I wrote yesterday the first few pages of a new proposal for a book I have been thinking about for some time, I faced the fear that comes whenever words finally appear in front of you. Judgments started to fly, self-deprecating thoughts slashed at the pages. Yet a simple awareness of my judging was present. I was committing to writing, not to being perfect. I began the journey of accumulating pages under one particular topic, not of doubting myself or the words.

In my experience, it is such an act of faith to proceed forward toward the completion of your dreams, since your mind, in its authoritative tone, gallantly strides in to hinder any progress.

While it sounds crazy, I think this is why I like reading poorly written books sometimes. If someone wrote that, why can’t I? There is really not a prerequisite that a book needs to be well written (although this is usually greatly appreciated). Nor is there any prerequisite for what it has to be. If someone wrote, what I would consider “bad”, had an editor and then a publisher like it, and then other people, then, really, who am I to judge?

While my life project is writing, you might have another one. It may be health or love, or music or business. This post is to encourage you to pursue it, one step at a time, and accumulate the small things that make the whole of your greatest contribution. You are in the business of gathering these small steps and pieces of your dream, not judgments. Trust in Life that it will work through you. It will supply you with the right material, words, ideas. But you need to show up to work. You need to put pen to paper, as much as possible, since that is how we all accumulate – little by little, day by day, through the muck of our own judgments we choose to leave behind.

Happy List

Favorite pictures framed on your desk.

Bird accessories for your desk.

A garlic heavy meal

The crust of fresh artisan bread

Perfectly cooked rice and beans

Taking time to nurture yourself.

Affirmations in the shower

Affirmations in the mirror

Thanking your bed every morning before you get out of it

Taking a moment to thank your roof

Your favorite sweatshirt

Learning new life skills

Seeing your judgments of others are really what you have to work on

Feeling Safe

Audiobooks for daily walks

Helpful people

The growing pains and awkwardness of going beyond your comfort zone

Grocery shopping at night.

Making the right, although, hard decisions.

“Vision Juicy Cheeseburger”

I know. A blog by a non-meat eater that is entitled “Vision Juicy Cheeseburger” is quite odd. But here is the story.

Walking home from work yesterday was a “street man” (a term he used himself) and instead of a sign that said something like “Will work for food” or “Hungry Please Help” like I have seen before, his said “Vision Juicy Cheeseburger”.

While not getting into the politics of whether or not to support someone on the street with a sign – I undoubtedly chose to give this man some cash. Why? Because he had a vision. He was speaking my language.

I liked the directness of his sign. It was blunt, yet entertaining. It was real. It took the guesswork out of what he was going to do with the money (supposedly). Yet most importantly, I can’t help but identify with him.

How many times have I written down my “vision”. What is the difference between my vision boards, vision lists, etc, that I give up to Life and God, and this man’s sign. In fact, I view him as stronger than me. He can boldly state his vision right in front of himself, in a very visible, public place.

I gave to that man because I can’t but help to feel too I am a consistent “beggar” of the Universe. Asking for more, refining what I want, claiming a vision. Writing it down has always been the first step, and he did just that. And Lord knows, that none of my visions came true without His hand directing others to help fulfill them.

St. Francis prayed, “Make me an instrument of Thy peace”, which can be translated as, “make me a vessel to help fulfil others desires”. What an honor it was to help fulfill a vision. I am just sorry it took such a sign to get my attention.

Lord, bless that man, and everyone else, who’s vision it is to have a “juicy” meal. Thank you for the perspective, and the responsibility to help others in need, without judgment, but simply because they asked. Amen.