Life Has A Crush On You

Falling in love with Life one day at a time…

Month: August, 2012

Approaching the To Do list with Peace

 

I find it hard sometimes to separate myself from my “to-do”list.

 

Perhaps there are some of you out there too, that go to sleep thinking of it, then wake up and quickly jot down the new things you are thinking of. There comes a time too, after weeks of the list getting longer, of the to-dos coming in hoards that I lose myself, enslaved by the daunting to do list.

 

The question is where is the line, or what is it about the “to-do” list that has the power to kill joy and/or your peace. What is it that pushes you into a land of unbalance, when it is suppose to be a tool to find balance and ease. How can I remain master and not slave to the list?

 

I think the answer lies in semantics. We are not human “doings” we are human “beings”. It is not a matter of how long or what is on your list, it is about who the person is that approaches the list. What is the mindset, the psyche, the heart of the human being. Essentially – where are you anchored?

 

I lose my power, my strength, my joy, when my identity and worth is tied up with what I “do” in a day – especially all the things I think I “should” be doing (oh that dreaded word!). My real worth is who am I being? What state of heart and mind do I approach the day with? What confidence in Life do I move from? Am I linked to my direct Power, Life, as I approach the list or any task I am presented with?

 

While there are things to be done, can it be your Soul that greets them dancing?

 

While there are emails and phone calls and planning and doing, can you objectively see them from the temple that you dwell within in your expansive and universal heart?

 

Can you create, look, approach a list with an indescribable peace emanating from your Soul, where you see it just as it is,words on paper.

 

Your true reminders don’t come from your notepads or phones. They come from within.

 

The true “doing” comes in the spaces that you leave in your schedule. The spaces in your “to-dos” and in your mind. For this is the space that the Divine has to come and manage all the details you might think are your responsibility.

 

No offense, but this is the Divine that arranges planets and tides and photosynthesis and birth.

Don’t you think it could manage the details of your day too?

Perhaps its time I turn over the reigns and greet the Divine in all the unknown it is shrouded in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard Work

It buffs out your jagged edges.

It rubs you down until you’re shiny and in better shape.

It satisfies you unlike any other type of food, drink or substance.

It’s your contribution to the world, truly your “body of work” – it’s what will be left for others

And if you learn to never fear it, but see its power to transform circumstances, yours and others, then can be one of the greatest tools you will ever have the privilege of using.

This is the beauty and blessing of hard work.

 

Why I cried on the bus this morning…

I accept this part about my myself, and I can’t help but think that maybe if I share a bit of my craziness (as culture and society might label it) then perhaps it gives someone else permission to feel deeply the joy and blessings that they too have in their life.

The thing that I love about Life is that you never know when a moment is coming. It’s as if, in this love relationship with Life, there are surprises at every corner, floods of love and appreciation fill me in the most unexpected times. This is exactly what happened to me this morning.

I caught an earlier bus than I had ever ridden, arriving at the bus station at 6:40, so that I could make a yoga class at 7. Perhaps my soul was prepped by the iridescent pink sunrise that rose over the trees as I waited, or by the strap of my yoga mat presenting the weight of the class that was coming into my shoulder, as I felt a tangible relief in myself as I approached this day. As I took my seat on the bus, my eyes welled with tears at the thought that I was going, that today I could do yoga. I felt the presence and power of my body as a tool to bring me to peace. I felt the relief of my soul as it knew that there was now coming a time to be. The cells of my body laughed at the joy that they felt and that was altering them.

And this was all from sitting down in the bus.

Yet then, as we pulled up to the next stop, the bus driver approached me and asked me to move. I didn’t understand, but of course gladly complied. Then I saw him. An attractive young man wheeled himself into the place my seat used to be. The driver had lifted the whole row of seats and this man rolled himself into the place, allowing the driver to meticulously take some straps and attach them to his chair. Then man in the wheelchair took a gloved hand and drank from a sporty water bottle. He was clearly fit. You could tell he was a man who would have used his legs if he could.

Words, right now, are too small of containers to capture my suppliant gratitude towards Life for the gift of my legs.

The truth is, why should it be crazy that I couldn’t at that moment, and even now, stop crying out of gratitude that I have legs? Why can’t we celebrate what we have when he have it? Why can’t we pay homage to the aspects of Life and ourselves that serve us every day, not just in functional ways, but in spiritual ways too.

In the following yoga class each downward dog was a pilgrimage to this place of thankfulness. The run I dashed into from the bus to the class was a celebration of two of my best friends, my legs. The truth is, every movement and motion I take with them, is a gift of endless and greatest pleasure. It breaks my heart that not everyone can enjoy this gift, whether because they are disabled or simply distracted.

This isn’t about not taking anything for granted. This is about living a life so mindful and conscious of the life-force and ways you can use it that you can’t help but be moved in the small and dramatic moments of everyday life. It’s about being madly overwhelmed with gratitude when nothing but something inside of you has changed. It’s about loving and using every aspect of Life you have been given.

Happy Thoughts

friends making you laugh so hard you cry

gaving no more laundry to do

three food processors meals made in a row

wearing what feels right

surrounding yourself with only things that are a 9 or 10

a husband who vacuums

showering before getting into a clean bed

booklights

scheduling time for yourself

saying “no”

saying “I would love to”

finding happy homes for loved clothes

“everything in its place”

iphone apps that help your life

Louise Hay

befriending dolphins

developing a plan

joining forces to change something

coat racks

asking for what you really want

receiving genuine praise

dancing wildly

easy sunday mornings.

Look out for Icebergs

I realized this past week, as I was in a conversation, that when we make a new acquaintance, we really don’t know the depth of the person. How quickly we cast judgements (or at least I do) that they are this way or they are that. Or dare I say, we even in our mind think of what they can do for us (I hope is that this thought is shifted to, What can I do for them). The reality is that we know so little from just meeting a person. It truly is, just the tip of the iceberg.

The bulk, the majesty, the massive contribution of each person usually lies under the surface, hidden from our view. Yet we encounter these icebergs every day. Each person has not only a story that supports them, but a growing contribution to the world that we cannot see.

What if we approached more people and more moments conscious of the whole iceberg, with the curiosity of a scientist wanting to know more about their depth? What if we went into every situation knowing that we truly can only see the tip of the matter or the person, at best.

What if we greeted everyone with the acknowledgement of their strength and power to create mountains and change the world?

What if?

The Fear of Disappointing Those We Love

I experienced recently the raw emotion of what it feels like to disappoint someone. This friend that I had to tell I couldn’t make their wedding, which occurs in a few weeks, and which I was so honored to be a part of the ceremony, demonstrated the most magnificent amount of grace I had ever experienced her having.

While I sit with the discomfort of upsetting another (particularly around their wedding day!) I am reminded of how many things I do, and we all do, to avoid this pain. Now I am the first to admit that this blog is a personal reflection. While my friend demonstrated more graciousness than I expected despite the upset-ness she might have felt , I needed to process and understand this situation from my end, from the pain I was feeling of having let someone else down.

The good I can gleam from this experience is that I did face a fear. I, being a pleaser type, will go to great lengths to make other people’s lives and experiences better and easier. This has served me in many of my jobs, since I seek roles where I can serve others, but I won’t deny that some part of this too stems from my great fear of letting someone else down. I reap great significance from “not being a bother”. I find this is something I try to offer to society and all the circles of friends I have and associations I am a part of. But the truth is, we all cause a ripple. Sometimes, we can’t help but to rock someone else’s boat.

So what? Being honest and facing the fact that we will and do disappoint others at times (even important times) is a learning process just like being rejected whether from a job, a lover, an agent, a dream. Accepting the fact that you can’t please everyone and yourself will cause discomfort. Owning up to the fact that you hurt someone else by disappointing them will humble you and shake your foundation, if it is built on pleasing others.

For all these reasons, and I am sure many more, we have to live through the experience of disappointing others. I believe, however, having had this experience, that now I too can grow more into the gracious woman I hope to be. Having lived through the understanding of another, I hope I can offer grace instead of anger next time I am disappointed in someone. I hope next time I am let down, I remember the pain I feel, and offer understanding instead of criticism, love instead of annoyance.

And the next time I have to disappoint, I hope I can do it courageously while trusting that all will be well, as I remember, that as important as I do think I am (as we all do think of ourselves) our presence or lack there of doesn’t have the ability to stop their show, their beauty, their life and their grace. No. The show (or the wedding) will always go on. As will your friendship and growth in each other.

Your Splendid Enough

Here is what I am learning.

Once you reach the mountain top, your mind starts to negate the accomplishment. It says you deserve more. You should have done more. It looks to greater mountains.

Once you get what you asked for. Within the week, the luster will die. You will be left wanting.

Once you have what you thought would make you happy, your happiness will flit and fly away again, and your mind will make up another story as to its cure.

The target isn’t the thing, the object, the love, the man, the job, the car, the food, the life. It is to look into the face of Desire and to tame it like the spoiled child it is.

It takes great strength and great effort to stop the voices in your head and heart that crave for more once you accomplish a level. It takes a loud and steady voice to say, “No. Now is not the time for that, even though it can and will be yours.”  It takes a warrior to ask for deep and dwelling peace and happiness right now, no matter what. It takes a ruler to insist and embrace the fact that in this moment your Life, exactly as it is with everything in it, is your splendid enough.

 

Happy Thoughts

Yoga clothes you can also wear to work

Creating a book for a friends

Using shower time for affirmations

Mugs with sailing scenes on them

New, crisp, hopeful business cards

Walking to work

Celebrating the baby steps you are taking

Post-it notes as a work method

Making new friends in the Fall, a school tradition

Surprise flowers just for you

When the one you love chooses their attitude

Disney world trams

Empire Building

Replacing helplessness with positive and confident action

Being an expert in something

Making a space your own

Uplifting the moment with music

Smart phones actually being smart

An outfit that makes you feel happy

Back to school shopping, even when you aren’t in school

Finalizing this summer and planning for the next

Avocados and Crackers for lunch

Surrounding yourself with plants and life

Brilliant and positive therapy

Life as a metaphor

Life Dream Tip #1

So often we put pressure on ourselves to “have” to do something towards our greatest dream.

While I see that this personal pressure, this “shoulding” of ourselves makes it happen, the process of attempting to accomplish this dream seems longer and harder.

Instead, of that “pressure” time, where you are forcing yourself to get something done, might I suggest taking an hour to use and connect with yourself and your body.

Personally, I have found that if I practice yoga and meditation for an hour, making that my priority, my mind is so clear and so calm, that I easily can write, so that what I want to say is written within 10 minutes. Whereas, before, it would have taken me the whole hour to simply write something comparable.

Get to a place of joy where you can work with ease, delight, clarity and excitement and save yourself the struggle and the time of working from a place of need and frustration.

Weeding Rudeness

I am in a grumpy mood.

My body is bloated with the frustration. My mind is revolting against work. I find I am angry at inanimate objects like my computer and lights, and then frustrated at things out of my control like the sweltering Georgia heat.

What is going on?

This is very different from my usual self.

When I asked myself this question a few moments ago my mind began to answer – Well, you didn’t have breakfast. Well, it’s Thursday, maybe you are tired. It’s the task. You just don’t like this one task you have to do.

But then I had a thought. I was happier earlier, when it was still Thursday. I was fine when I actually did eat something when I was hungry. And I like working!

Then I realized it. I had my first negative interaction at work, and it threw me. My supervisors had sent me to someone, since that is what had done when they were in my shoes, and she looked at me and goffed at my request.

I felt like a kid again when your teacher scolds you for something that literally you had no idea about. She laughed at me like I should know better.

But I didn’t.

Thinking of this, I can see, that her rudeness planted a seed in this day for me, that continues to grow rapidly, squeezing out the focus, nutrients, and need the other healthier and chosen plants and things in my life need. Her one comment grew in my day suffocating the good that I usually feel.

But luckily, as any planter knows, we can all weed.

Yet, how do we do weed on an emotional and a mental level?

I think it is very individual, but even right now, I find processing, writing and sharing about it is helping tremendously.

We can focus and do a task that we not only like, but that helps boost our confidence.

We can move our bodies, shake them, jump them, stretch them, mold them so that eventually they too can’t carry the discomfort of the comment.

We can made a happy list, a practical one, to be used to bring back our focus on the good things in life. Or we can read a happy list!

We can clean up our immediate surroundings. Some times cleaning up around us, cleans up the junk within us.

Maybe even take a break with a caffeinated drink. The extra jump might get us out of our slump.

Yes. Thank you for listening to a blog that was a processing blog. A blog that worked to get me out of my head and mood, and into the actions I can take to create and be and experience what I most greatly desire. Thanks for listening.

Here is to a great rest of the day.