Sacred Carriers of Your Gifts..
The most remarkable thing happened to me this time last year.
After a challenging year at work and in my personal life, I had made the commitment to “refresh” myself. I was in such a lost state that I literally could only think one step ahead in regards to how I could change my then current condition. Like an injured Katniss in the Hunger Games, I was moving from one tree to the next, not thinking big picture. “Where and when have I been happiest?”. From here, I thought, “Ok, camp was a place where I have felt my best. Happier beyond compare to any other environment.” Next though- ” Ask if you can come back.”
Limping, emotionally, from the battle wounds of work and this “lost nature” I had adapted to, I was lucky enough to be embraced back into the fold of camp.
Slowly, but surely, as the IV of camp meals, songs, and old friends revived my spirit back to what it had been, I began to heal.
But this is not the remarkable thing I hope to talk about today. The remarkable thing was that not only did the environment contain me safely in its sunscreened boundaries, but the place actually had to offer me back sacred bits of myself.
I had come to a cabin one night on an errand of the nurses, and I waited outside while the counselor finished a devotion. I could hear through the screendoor her words and instruction and then the giggles and gleaming from the children. When I heard the details my knees started to give out and I slumped down with my back against the door of the cabin.
She was doing the devotion I had thought of and brought to camp 6 years before. I had completely forgotten about it. I had forgotten the message and the heart of it. It was my message and my heart. It was a missing piece of my soul that unknowingly I entrusted into the folds of camp and the spirit of the people. Little did I know that years later, when I needed to find and bind that part of myself back into me, it would be here, graciously given in miraculous ways.
A couple of weeks later, the same thing happened, with a different ritual I had done with the girls when I was there. Again, something within me was restored. It was the message I was seeking. It was a part of myself I had forgotten.
For the first time in my life I understood fully the meaning of getting what you give.
Here, over years, over change, over hundreds of campers, the things I had given, the parts of myself that I had fully expressed enthusiastically and with the most genuine love, were graciously bestowed upon my forgotten self.
I realized in these moments that to give anything, especially the truest parts of yourself, is the only way, the only guarantee, of it surviving, and of your enjoyment of it again.
We often think of “you get what you give” in material ways, but what of the spirit within you? There will be times when you lose it. These will be the dark days, the days of feeling lost. But if you gave your Spirit, your greatest self to anything or anyone before, these sacred carriers will come back onto your path h to share the forgotten messages and pieces of your soul that you seemed to have lost.